So we’re back from Hawaii.
I’m still going through the frillion photos from our trip and I’m planning to post them soon. All in all it was an incredible trip, one that I won’t soon forget. Brian and I had lots of adventures, but unfortunately he came down a bad case of sea sickness on a catamaran coming back to shore from snorkeling. As stereotypical as it sounds, he was a total man about it. Whenever he gets sick it literally knocks him out cold for most of the day. I’m far too independent to stay back in a hotel room, so I ventured out to see more of Waikiki and hit the beach while he rested.
Waikiki is a lot like Southern California. It has an amazing beach, and TONS of shopping. I peeked through the Tory Burch store, tried on a few new pairs of Kate Spade sunnies, and grabbed up an adorable handmade in Hawaii dress for Lux from the Royal Hawaiian indoor/outdoor shopping mall. My face was still kinda raw from the sea water and I was sporting a beach hair pony tail that didn’t exactly scream sexy, and, oh yeah, I was still wearing a bathing suit and swim cover up.
Hot, I know.
I was on my way out when a girl in a green dress at a kiosk called out to me about my bathing suit. I hesitated, because… really, I know what I look like. But I answered and turned to keep walking when she grabbed my hand. For a split second I thought I might be getting taken… and I don’t have a Liam Neison to come after me. But turns out the girl, named “Ade (Ah-dee),” wanted to rub some magic salt on my hands. I thought that was odd seeing as I was already pretty much covered in salt and sand from the beach, but then she poured “ancient Israeli crystal water” over my hands and they indeed, did feel nice.
Ade stood about six inches from my face the whole time. My brain was going into overdrive trying to think of a way to excuse myself, but Ade kept rubbing things on me. She was a nice pretty girl, with an exotic accent that I couldn’t place (until later, Israeli maybe?) She told me to sit and I guess I was entranced in the accent and not wanting to be rude that I did. She asked me a bunch of questions and complimented every single thing about me, which you know I am my own favorite topic. As she applied different lotions and serums on my face and arms she softly sang that Bruno Mars song, “If I was your man.” This would have been awkward but I was pretty exhausted from doing so much stuff and I already had a man so I didn’t care, but anyway. Ade had really pretty skin, which I can totally examine because like I said, she’s standing six inches from my face. She sort of sang-song eloquently with her accent about the product that she uses every day…. right, ::wink:: sales people. According to Ade, this stuff is Madonna’s secret weapon.
Now that I think about it, I call bollocks on that, because everyone knows that Madge is actually a vampire that drinks the blood of baby porpoises and doesn’t age.
Next, she pulled out the calculator and broke down costs of monthly facials and pedicures. She thought I deserved to be pampered. Heck yeah, I need pampering.
Like a sea muse calling a ship to the shore, Ade was baiting me! Dammit.
Before long she started in on the sales pitch. She would sell me a set of four different products for $249.99. Buuuutttttttt, she had a special coupon just for me. (How lucky, right?) I could have it all and the salt and free pumice stone for $199.99.
And then silence as Ade took her index finger and stroked my cheek.
Yes, that actually happened.
I just sort of blinked for a few seconds. I politely explained that was more money than I should spend without consulting my husband who wasn’t there with me. I inched from my seat, but Ade didn’t move which means now she’s only about three inches from my face when she said, okay, I can have two products for $49.99 each, an exfoliator and a moisturizer, and she was only going to do that because she REALLY liked me.
I actually was interested in the exfoliator, but being the product whore that I am, I could literally fill my tub and bathe myself in moisturizers if I wanted to at home every day for a week, so I didn’t need anymore. So I said I would buy the exfoliator if I could have it for $49, after all it started out at something insane like $179 and I was happy with my buy.
Ade and I finally parted ways and I went back to the resort only to find Brian still asleep. I decided to rest my feet for a moment and do a little internet surfing from my iPad. My mind replayed bits of my encounter with Ade and I got curious about another product that she had shown me. I thought I’d check and see if maybe I could find it online so a quick google later and I stumbled across the full line of products available on amazon. My lucky day, I thought!
Then I saw it, under recommended pages… my exfoliator.
Ade, the amazing beautiful blonde-haired blue-eyed Israeli sea muse in the emerald green dress got me!
Turns out, I HAD been taken.