So this blog has been nothing but radio silence for the past few weeks.
With so much going on, it was starting to feel like we were barely keeping our heads above the water while trying to maneuver all the different pawns in our life. There was the job situation, the possible relocation situation, the work/life imbalance situation, and the stress situation. I was really starting to think I was having a mid-life crisis at 30.
I’m planner by heart, actually I’m an INFJ to a tee. Order and systematic thinking is just the way my brain works. So it’s my nature to have many different plans going on at the same time, knowing that the right one will play out in the long run. Over the last 10 months I’ve pursued all of them with an open heart and an open mind. Lots of doors have opened over that time. And many, many, many closed. But I was faithful in my prayer that God would be abundantly clear in the direction we should go. So I took each “no” with peace knowing that the right door would open with the perfect path we should walk through.
I have interviewed a lot, including out of state. I always thought I wanted to work in higher education again. I thought that working with students was what I was good at and was what would make me happy. But the reality is that is not happening.
Committing to a larger mortgage didn’t feel right given all the stress of my current job. The only thing both Brian and I knew we wanted to do was love our children well and provide a happy and healthy home for them. With two kids, a boy and a girl, we figured that we were pretty set. If we lost everything today, but still had our two beautiful children, we’d be fine.
The kids are at a great age. They are self-reliant in that they can feed themselves with utensils and turn on lights themselves and use the toilet and wash their hands without supervision. It’s the little things in life.
While we don’t struggle financially, we can’t help think how nice it would be when the day comes when we aren’t shelling out several thousand dollars per month in childcare expenses. We could finally build that lazy river in the backyard we have always wanted. Which would be awesome in about 2 years except for that
Which totally changed the direction we thought we were headed. After the initial shock, we’ve come around to actually being really excited about it. This baby has really made us think about our end game, which means more changes to come.
But I’m thankful for this baby. It’s like Baby Priscilla-Jake Ryan (that’s the baby’s nickname, we’re big on nicknames around here), has opened our eyes to a whole other world that we never knew existed. I’m excited that I get to walk this life with Brian, and Knox and Lux and PJR.