Did you think I forgot about this little blog? Okay, so I kinda did. Grad school writing took priority and simultaneously reduced my brain to incoherent mush. I could only seem to find the time to log in to the site and run updates on wordpress and plug ins. I’m sorry I’m lame, but you should already know that.
How did December get here so fast and why is it basically already Christmas (it’s like 8 days away or something, right?) I don’t really want Christmas to be over but the more I think about it the more I feel like I’m mentally already in January. Kind of ready for a fresh start, ready to sketch out budgets and resolutions and new schedules and just to peel back 2013 for good and be done with it.
There were some really hard times this year and A LOT of tears. A lot of doubt, and a lot of depression. A lot of hating circumstances and feeling like a victim, and self-loathe and anger. A lot of pushing people and God away. A lot of wanting to just wanting to quit living. A lot of things that can really pull a girl down. 2013 wasn’t totally bad, necessarily. In fact, there was some good that happened this year, we made some changes, and some things that finally started to make sense. I left my fulltime job, started a new graduate school program, we went to Hawaii, Knox is in a new preschool, Lux is in ballet….
Oh, and a baby. That happened.
But in all of the change that did occur, I feel like I finally figured out what I wanted my life to look like and I’m okay with things not turning out exactly how I wish they did. Rejection lost it’s sting. I feel like I gained confidence in being my quirky, sometimes goofy, sometimes stubborn self. And just maybe in finding myself, I learned to like myself.