I recently came to the conclusion that I am not as motivated a person as I once thought I was.
Sure, I have eaten an entire box of Girl Scout cookies in less time and with more enthusiasm than Leonard DiCaprio, and sure I have drank a bowl of Mi Cocina queso on a dare once, and also sure, I slept straight through four days of my life in undergrad. FOUR DAYS GONE.
These are all things my four year old self did not aspire to be.
When I was four I wanted to be a doctor.
Oh, I was precious. Someone should have warned four year old me about college statistics and that eventual D in archery I would earn. And also about that boy, Derrick, don’t date Derrick.
I have friends that write amazing books, host successful podcasts, own their incredible businesses, etc. I write jokes on the internet and binge watch Netflix from my couch.
So, we are the same, basically. (WE ARE NOT THE SAME)
I have tried to find a hobby. I can’t tell you the number of sets of crochet needles I have purchased in my lifetime. I joined a book club… but never bought the book. I took up running, but then I remembered I hate exercise. I had a garden once and successfully grew a pallet full of very pretty weeds. The one time I played Fantasy Football I came in first place and NEVER ONCE CHECKED MY ROSTER. I promptly retired from playing after that, because why mess with a winning record, I say. I have this blog, and you can tell by my super regular updates that I take it very seriously ::eye roll::.
And don’t get me started on diets or healthy living stuff. I did Whole 30 once for a Whole 30 seconds. I lost twenty pounds on Weight Watchers a few years ago and celebrated with a Reese Cup Blizzard, corny dog, and cheese fries from Dairy Queen. People keep adding me to their fitness challenges on facebook and I’ve never moved faster than to hit the Leave Group button in my life. Just feed me and tell me I’m pretty, already.
The problem is all of these things take time, and time is like, the only thing I can’t keep around. (Student loans, random receipts, and an extra fifteen pounds around my midsection, I couldn’t lose if I tried.) After grad school I erroneously assumed I would have this massive block of time suddenly available. I honestly worried that I might get bored. I guess if that had happened I would have maybe found some motivation to find something to do or finally sat down and folded all the stupid laundry in my house. I anticipate the rapture coming before that ever happens.